A Hero's Regrets
by legend-of-stelena
Summary: Link has always loved his first princess more and he and the new Zelda both know it. But no matter how they try, they can't move past it. Whoever knew that the Hero of Time could have so many regrets? Especially those concerning a certain princess. OoT Zelink one-shot.


**_Prompt 3: Restless (Link and Zelda; Ocarina of Time)_**

 **Spoiler warning for the ending of _Ocarina of Time._**

 _There was fire everywhere.  
Sparks and embers floated throughout the air and flames danced up next to him, threatening to swallow him whole in an instant. The sky was red and gray from the smoke and there wasn't a single animal to be seen except for a crow here and there.  
Hyrule was burning. Castletown, Hyrule Field, everything and everywhere was being destroyed by Ganondorf's forces.  
Link was racing through the remnants of Castletown, clutching the Master Sword as if it were his very life force. Despite the fact that he was surrounded by people running for their lives from raging monsters, he only had one thing on his mind, one thought that brought him the determination he required to keep going.  
Zelda.  
Granted, he was still a ten-year-old boy in a seventeen-year old's body, but the more time he spent in a more mature body, the more he learned and understood the strong emotions that were talked about in the folktales people often told back home. Although he couldn't quite explain what he felt when it came to Zelda, she was his friend and he cared for her deeply as one; especially after spending so much time with her when she was Sheik. Yet there was still something strange that peeked through that feeling of friendship, something...stronger. Something that made him yearn for the little princess he first met in that castle garden.  
He raced up what was left of the castle's steps and through an opening that normally held a thick wooden door blocking its entrance.  
He had to find Zelda.  
Monsters poured in from all sides, swinging their clubs and makeshift weapons in an attempt to wound Link. He only raised his sword and attacked them, not even at full force, to get rid of the annoyance.  
Goddesses, why was it so easy for him to kill these creatures? It didn't matter that they were enemies or monsters...they were still living things.  
He had to find Zelda.  
If they were considered monsters, wasn't he one too? He terrorized, attacked and killed just as many of their kind, if not more, as they hurt his.  
He needed to find Zelda. She would clear his head and remind him that he wasn't evil. She would comfort him. She would-  
There she was.  
Her back was turned to him and she still wore her signature magenta dress. Her hair flowed freely behind her in thick, golden blonde locks. She held a thin rapier in her gloved right hand; the Triforce of Wisdom shining proudly.  
He shouted her name and she immediately turned around, her guard put on tightly when she first looked at him only to quickly soften when she recognized that it was him. Her dark blue eyes were soft, yet stern; strong, yet friendly. She smiled softly and it filled him with a strange warmth that he couldn't quite explain.  
While she smiled at him, neither of them noticed a horde of monsters coming closer to her and, only when it was too late for either of them to do anything, attacked.  
Zelda's screams rang out in the air as the creatures hit and swiped at her. Link wanted to run to help her, to free her, because Farore knew that he would rather put up with the pain than have her get hurt. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't move. It was as if his feet were stuck to the ground and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't move, he couldn't save her, she would die and it was his fault, it was his fault-_

Link jolted awake.  
It was just a dream. It was late at night, he was in a bed in the castle and it was just a dream. Zelda was fine.  
"Link?" a sleepy voice whispered beside him.  
He turned to the speaker and breathed a sigh of relief.  
Zelda stared at him in concern while rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She was breathing steadily and the moon cast a pale light on her golden hair.  
"Link?" she repeated, more awake than before.  
He sighed. "I'm alright."  
She set a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Another nightmare?"  
She knew him too well. "Yes," he replied, not bothering to come up with an excuse.  
"Want to talk about it?"  
The nightmare he had wasn't the worst he'd ever had, but it was up there with the toughest ones. The recurring theme seemed to be Zelda being right there and yet just out of reach, a theme that made a little too much sense in his actual life.  
"Link? Hey, you're not there anymore, you're here. I'm here. You can talk about it."  
He didn't bother arguing with her and simply began explaining it. "Hyrule was on fire. Everything was being destroyed faster than people could run away from it all. Then I saw you there and you were fighting and you were beautiful and determined and..."  
He began trailing off. There were many times in which he forgot that this Zelda was not the same as the first girl he knew. This Zelda was not hardened by her country's war, had never been taught the Sheikah ways by Impa. She wasn't a fierce warrior by any means and didn't have her life at all strengthened by the battlefield.  
This Zelda was sweet, kind and the most gentle person he knew. She was compassionate and selfless and he loved her. There was no denying that he loved her with his whole heart.  
But his first Zelda had never quite escaped his mind...or his heart. At the end of the day, she held his heart in her gloved hands that hid the roughness her palms gained after so many years of weapons and fight training. He hadn't realized it when he was ten but as he got older, he knew that it was true. That Zelda was strong and fierce compared to this one now, who was more bubbly and sweet.  
He loved them both, but if he was asked which princess he loved more, well...

 _"Now that peace has returned to Hyrule, it is time for us to say goodbye."  
_  
The words had never strayed from his mind, even though it had been over a decade since hearing them. He still vividly remembered Zelda, his beautiful princess, looking at him sadly and pressing the blue ocarina to her lips before playing her lullaby. That melody had never escaped his mind and had haunted him since returning. He recalled when this Zelda next to him had often played the same song in their youth. The last time he had played the song was ages ago when he was taught the song again by Zelda this time. The song pained him too much to play casually on any instrument.  
"Link?" Zelda asked, tearing him away from the painful memories.  
When he turned to face her, he saw that despite the smile she was trying to portray with her lips, her eyes conveyed sadness.  
He sighed. "I'm...I'm sorry."  
"It's okay," she replied even though they both knew it wasn't true.

It was a lie and Zelda knew it for herself. She'd known for years that Link had never truly gotten over the Zelda he met when he was ten years old. She had always told herself that she was the exact same person as that other princess: they shared the same name, the same face, the same voice and the same crown.  
Yet despite how hard she tried, she couldn't be that version of herself; the version she knew Link preferred.  
"No, it isn't," he spat out, seemingly sensing what was running through her head. "You don't need to keep pretending with me, Zelda, because I know that you aren't totally happy with me."  
Maybe it was because she was half awake and therefore not thinking properly, but that sentence struck a nerve with her.  
" _I_ need to stop pretending? _Me?_ Say what you want, but we are both well aware that I'm not the only one. You think I don't know that you prefer that other version of me? I've known it for years. I've seen how you talk about me, no _her_ , with such enthusiasm before looking at me with this beautiful light in your eyes only for your gaze to fall and turn solemn. Link...you say you love me and I believe that you do but..."  
She trailed off. Should she even continue?  
Well, it was too late to back down now. She had to finish what she started, and that was the truth.  
"If it was between her and I, you'd choose her in a heartbeat, wouldn't you?" Zelda finished.

Link stared at her, shocked at the truth that he never thought he'd hear Zelda admit to.  
Yes, it was true.  
He'd choose the other version of her.  
He didn't bother responding to her question; his silence was answer enough.  
Zelda nodded, defeated. Rubbing her eyes, she whispered, "We better get back to sleep. Goodnight, Link."  
She lied back down and fell asleep facing away from him.  
Link was absolutely restless for the rest of the night. He barely got any sleep and when he was lucky enough to begin catching some rest, images of that moment in the sea of blue, the last time he saw his first beloved princess, danced through his head, taunting him.  
 _Princess Zelda extended her hand to take the Ocarina of Time from him.  
Goddesses, why had he given her that ocarina? He should've kept it or thrown it away, anything, everything, to make sure she didn't send him back.  
Zelda pressed the blue instrument to her lips and began to play her lullaby, her fingers delicately floating across the holes as the song droned on...  
That song, he had to make it stop, she had to stop playing, he didn't want to go back-  
His feet were off the ground as a beam of light appeared to take him away. Zelda gave a sad smile.  
"Thank you, Link."  
No Zelda, stop, Goddesses, please stop, don't do this, Zelda, PLEASE-  
Everything slowly began blurring together and disappearing. That sad smile still decorated the princess's face, even as she too began fading away...  
No, stop, please, ZELDA!_  
 _Goodbye..._  
His eyes snapped open and he was back in the castle bed.

Princess Zelda heard Link scream her name and she went rushing back to the bed from the bathroom.  
He was wide awake and breathing heavily, even sweating a bit.  
Her heart fell when she realized that he'd been dreaming of the other her.  
She loved him. Her heart belonged wholly to him and no one else. However, she was tired, no, _exhausted_ of these circles they ran around. If things continued like this they would get nowhere. There would be no happiness like this, no real joy for either of them.  
As Link began getting dressed, Zelda began mustering up the courage to either fix their problem or to simply...end it.  
She didn't want him to leave her or vice versa. She didn't want this to end, but it might have to for both of their sakes.  
"I'm sorry, Link," she confessed quietly, barely above a whisper.  
"Hm?" Link turned to face her with his bright blue eyes.  
How she would miss seeing those eyes every morning if they couldn't fix this problem. Was this really the smartest thing to do? She could lose Link forever.  
Or...  
They could make up. They could be together.  
Either way, she wouldn't have to deal with thinking that he didn't love her for her. She wouldn't have to fear not being good enough.  
"Zel? Is everything okay?" Link questioned, his face full of the concern she showed last night.  
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I can't be the girl you want me to be. I know we've talked about this before, but I think it's time we decide what to do now," she began explaining.  
"What do you mean?"  
She went slowly crept towards him. "I'm not mad at you. I just...I just need to let some stuff off my chest."  
He nodded.  
Sucking in a deep breath, she braced herself. "I've tried. I have tried so hard to be that girl, that princess, that Zelda, that you love with your whole being. I have tried every moment of every day to be that person, but I can't be. I tell myself that somewhere inside of me I _am_ her, that we're the same person. Yet lately, I've been wondering if that's even true. And I know I'm probably being selfish and stupid, but I need to know if we're going to make this work or not."

He said nothing. There was nothing he could say. She was right.  
He should have kept his feelings to himself and never made it obvious that he still loved his first Zelda, that he preferred her. Yet he felt that no matter how much time passed, his heart would never change.  
"Zelda, I love you. I want you to know that. But you don't deserve to be with someone that you know-" Link confessed.  
"Is in love with someone else?" Zelda finished for him.  
He nodded, ashamed with himself. "I am so sorry for putting you through all of this because the last thing I want to do is hurt you, but I can't go on pretending that—"  
"Neither can I," she replied in defeat. "I can't even blame you for loving her more. She was your first love, even if you didn't realize it back then, and she was really special to you. She was strong and courageous; things that I'm not. If this keeps going, I'll just eternally be in her shadow. I'm sorry, Link."  
Although she hadn't flat out said that it was over for them, he knew that that was the case.  
He walked until he was directly in front of her. He cupped her face with his hands and raised it up, pressing a kiss to her pink lips.  
She wrapped her hands around his wrists and clutched him to her, pulling them closer together.  
The single kiss turned into two, three, Nayru knew how many. What had begun as a chaste kiss goodbye had become something passionate as they practically clung to each other for dear life.  
But at the very end of the day, it was still a goodbye kiss; a means to an end.

When they finally pulled away from one another, gasping for air in the process, Zelda whispered, "I love you so much. I always will, no matter what happens. Even if I end up married to someone else, I will always love you. I'll wait for you until the day I die."  
He believed her.  
Yet…

"Don't wait for me, Zelda. Whatever you do, do not wait for me. I'm not saying that I'll never come back, but the last thing I want is for you to waste your life waiting for me. If you have the chance to love someone else, do it. Don't worry about me."  
To seal his wish, he pressed a firm kiss to her forehead.  
"Promise me that," he pleaded.  
She briefly hesitated.  
Then, "I promise."  
He slowly released her and made his way to her balcony where he had sneaked in from last night, still not able to let go of her hand. He kissed it one final time before saying the dreaded words.  
"Goodbye, Zelda."  
She sucked in a deep breath and he saw a glimmer of water appear in her azure blue eyes.  
"Goodbye, Link."  
The other Zelda's voice flashed into his head for a brief moment as he hesitantly took his hand away from hers until their fingertips were barely touching.  
"Should you ever need me, you know where to find me, Princess," he stated.  
"And should you ever need me, I will always be here, Hero," she swore in return.  
When they were no longer touching each other at all, he turned away from her and climbed down the vines that snaked across the castle's stone walls.  
When he reached the bottom, he turned to face upwards at Zelda's balcony. She still stood there with her hand outstretched.  
Seeing her distress, he sent a kiss her way and waved goodbye before going off to fetch his horse.

When Zelda could no longer see Link, she finally allowed herself to break down into tears. Her legs eventually gave out and she fell to her knees on the cold stone ground.  
Goddesses, what had she done?  
Why did she mention it to him? Why did she prompt him to end things? Oh Goddesses, _what had she done?  
_ But perhaps it would be better this way. Maybe he would use this time alone to realize where he stood on the matter and come back to her.  
Yes, maybe he would.  
She would hold off her council's marriage plans for her for as long as she could; hopefully long enough for Link to return.  
Yes, everything was going to be alright.  
It had to be.  
With a cool hand pressed against her stomach, she knew it would all be okay.

* * *

 ** _15 Years Later_**

Link took the army helmet off of his head and set it down onto the forest floor. He took a seat down next to it, propping his head up with the tree trunk he sat against.

It had been 37 years since his birth; since the Goddesses placed him in this world to become its Hero.

It had been 27 years since he first left Saria and Kokiri Forest, his home, and sneaked into the castle garden to meet Princess Zelda; 27 years since his entire life changed forever. 27 years since he went from ten to seventeen in nearly the blink of an eye.

It had been 26 years since Zelda had sent him back in time to warn her past self and (though she only admitted it to him) because she felt guilty over taking away so much of his life. It had been a whole 26 years since he had lost her, 26 years since every friend he had met on his quest completely forgot about him. Those times right before and after Termina were the hardest with only Saria and a few Kokiri remembering him. Ruto, Darunia, Malon, Impa, and Zelda couldn't recall him at all.

It had been 20 years since he realized that he had fallen in love with Zelda, his first heroic princess, during the time that he knew her. During that year, he'd tried desperately to remember all the times he had shared with her, both as princess and Sheikah, and he had fallen in love with those memories too.

19 years since he and the Zelda of this timeline began a romantic relationship. They had gone off for picnics, festivals or simply quiet times all over Hyrule. Despite knowing better, there were times when his mind convinced him that she was his first Zelda, and it was during these times that he realized he preferred the first.

15 years since he and this Zelda parted ways because of him, meaning 15 years of wallowing in regret that he had let go of a woman like her, who had loved him despite knowing the truth of his feelings. Princess Zelda had always topped his list of regrets.

Link had looked for a way to go back to his own timeline for 8 years. He had talked to supposed sorcerers and sages, potion makers and magic users in the vain hope of finding a way back to his friends and _her_.

He gave up on that 7 years ago.

In the last 7 years, he had joined the Royal Guard. Zelda herself had gotten married to the prince of a neighboring kingdom and the two had children of their own. 7 years since he realized how big of a mistake he had made.

It was on a gloomy day 5 years ago that Link received a letter from Zelda herself. In it, she confessed that 10 years before, when they were both 22 years old and had just ended things, she had been pregnant with their child, only to suffer a bad fall three months later and have a miscarriage.

 _But despite the emotional trauma of losing the baby, I still love you, Link. It doesn't matter that I'm married now because I still mean what I said those years ago: I will always love you.  
Thank you for everything.  
~Zelda_

Link hated himself for what he did to her. Why was he such an idiot? Why did he throw away a future with a woman he loved?

Four months ago, his emotions had gotten the better of him. He had gone to visit Malon after downing a few drinks at a nearby tavern and had told her everything in his stupor. Later that night, one thing had led to another and now, she was pregnant with his child.  
It didn't matter that the child was with a woman he didn't truly love, he would be there for him or her in the way he couldn't be with Zelda's.

Now in the present, Link had gotten up off the floor and began looking for a way out of the forest.  
The tragic thoughts never left his mind, though. He still pondered on his many regrets in life, like not stopping Zelda from sending him back in time, or forever ruining his chances with the new Zelda of this time period. He regretted things with Malon and for using her in his time of weakness, giving her a child he wasn't even sure she wanted.  
Finally, after spending days looking for an exit from what had turned out to be the Lost Woods to no avail, a final regret appeared in his mind.  
Sitting back down on the ground, he regretted not being able to pass on the various skills he had learned in his lifetime to any child, whether Zelda's or Malon's. What a waste of a Hero; he couldn't even save himself from the Lost Woods.  
Breathing out a deep sigh, Link simply closed his eyes as a wolf howled in the distance as his mind finally received a single moment of rest.

Or so he had thought.

 **Of course, this is the moment where Link's regrets manifest as the Hero's Shade. This fic may have been a little OOC, but Link preferring the first Zelda over the Child Timeline one has always crossed my mind. And the Malon thing is just my way of explaining where TP Link comes from :D**


End file.
